Why do I accept myself being obese?

I have thought a lot about this question for the past few days. I believe that everything that we do is for a reason. I also believe that if I am ever going to lose weight and keep it off I have understand WHY I continue saying overweight in the first place. So I had to look deep inside myself and ask “What am I afraid of?” The answer WORK and FEAR…. I am lazy point blank. I work in an office where I sit for 8 to 9 hours, while I do get up here and there I basically still sit on my butt! Then I come home, get on the computer for a short while, make something for dinner, and then do what? Sit back on my butt…. I don’t want to do things because it would require me to work.

I also don’t do things because I feel like it’s interrupting my “me” time. Well If I do this and that then I won’t have any time to just rest. Which I know is BS in reality because I don’t normally come home sit for like an hour and then go to bed! So I know deep down that I still have some “me” time. So I will pass that one off as an excuse…. So we are back again to WORK…. Losing weight requires having to work hard! I have to watch everything I eat, possibly take time to count calories, blog, track my eating and exercise regularly.

Let’s face it, it’s a lot easier to eat what you want, how you want, to sit down and just watch tv and not make an effort. It is annoying to see someone skinny who can have a nice juicy hamburger at the local joint and because I am bigger I should just opt for the salad so yeah there is also some resentment too…. Why did I get the fat gene? I love food, but have sometimes wondered what do I really get out of eating food and what can I do instead of eating that will also make me feel good the way food does. I will highly admit that food is beyond nutrition for me. I would almost rather starve then eat a salad everyday because I can’t stand having the same thing all the time even though it will make the tummy pains of hunger go away. I want good food!

I know deep down I want to be more fit and look nice in clothes. I will admit that I got very frustrated when I wasn’t on my thyroid meds due to insurance, that I gained so much weight! That annoys me it’ wasn’t “my fault” of why I got so big and now low and behold I am at the BIGGEST I have EVER been in my life, including being 9 months Prego with any of the kids! That’s insane! Just 1 ½ ago I was about 100lbs smaller…. I think to myself how did I get to this but with my health I just couldn’t lose, and now the motivation is just gone! Some moments it’s there and others I just have to throw the idea of motivation out the window and make myself doing things…..

But I am not getting that *instant gratification* that I am seeking, that whoo-hoo I am down a few lbs this week, and then next week a few more…. That gets me excited because I SEE results. But lately it’s not happening but I feel that is not happening because I am not being honest with myself and putting in a 100% . How can I expect great results when I am only putting in 50%? It’s like painting half a portrait and then expecting a full master piece to appear! It just won’t happen……

So what is step one this week?????? It’s simple because this is a process and it’s baby steps, remember I said I have to *fix* me and understand what I do to make this a lifelong choice! So this week my homework is to be honest with myself. I am to write every single thing down that I eat every single day. Write it, see it and post it for the world to see! I am going to also log what I am feeling when I want to eat *bad* things, how I feel after words and what I get out of eating foods that are not so healthy for me. It’s all about honesty. This week will not be focused on weight loss but the reasons I am now maintaining weight (while now being on meds for my thyroid). That is all today :)

Welcome June 2010....

Ok, so I haven't lost that much from 04/28 to now... but I figure we all got to start somewhere. I have a 10 year reunion coming up and I can't imagine I really want to go looking like this... I still need to buy my tickets and it's coming up soon... so better get a charge on that one... so we'll see.... eating is ok... still having probs w/ carb moderation... maybe I need to start from the beginning, lil to no carb and work my way back to the carb area....

Ahhh... well.... just wanted to write a lil something...

Walked 2 miles today w/ my gal Leslie Sansone... whew... so that's the good part. :D

More to come... I promise. :D

Day 1....

Ok, so the biggest loser contest has officially started... I don't have much motivation, but it'll get there, ok, it HAS to... I went to try on some scrubs tonight and I'll be darn if I felt the worst I have in yrs and I have been heavier and bigger than this before. Seems my hips have expanded, so much belly fat it's horrible to just even look at. And as crazy as this sounds, I feel like I have shrunk! I really do hate this feeling I'm having...


But today went pretty well, not great at dinner, but it's a start and it's day 1, tomrrow will be a much better day I can only hope... everyday can't be 100% and I know this.... trial & error, right!? LOL

Breakfast:

1 cup multigrain cherrios
1 cup soy milk
1 med banana
4 donut holes * Sooo much better than the cream filled, glazed and choc I wanted to eat, compromise! ;) *

Lunch:

None - I was too busy getting my hair done.

Dinner: Went to BJ's;

3 handfuls of chips w/ salsa
3 southwest egg rolls (Yum)
2 slices of pizza w/ pepp, sau, beef, tomatoes
1 HUGE macamamia nut cookie w/ ice cream - now there was 2 scoops of ice cream, I shared w/ my niece and she had a few bites of my cookie & hubby took a few bites as well, I'll say "improvement." LOL
4 tbsp ranch for pizza dip

Snack:

1 pretzel (jalapeno) from Annie's w/ cheese sauce
Lite Blueberry yogurt (taking antibiotic, might as well make sure I'm getting some acidolphilus)

Exercise:

Walked for about 1 hour in the mall
Did 1 mile w/ WWL (Walking w/ Leslie) - 10 minutes

Water:

Approx 68 oz

Ok, so day 1 wasn't THAT great, but I think I did a great job so *pat on the back* for me. LOL Yes, I know... small steps are a start and I'll take it ....

Oh yes, let's not forget the highlights I got in my hair... I really like em', whatcha think!?

I know, "great face" but I was just messing around and just so happens it was the best pic of my hair, front and back... go figure! ;)

Until we meet again, friend, G'nite and talk to you soon....

Today.....

Ok, so I'm reading this WW magazine and read something interesting... "Sitting disease: The name of this condition, which results from spending too much time in a seated position, was recently coined by US physicians. The malady leads to weight gain, increased risk for blood clots, and back pain. If you sit at a desk for most of the day, you're a likely candidate. A simple RX? Stand rather than sit while on the phone; this will make you more apt to pace, which reduces your risk for the condition."


Hmmm... rather interesting... what do you think?

Today was a fairly decent day... didn't eat too well, but that's ok, tomorrow is a new start, I'll be making plans for my meals, better decision making and better choices food wise.

Went to lunch w/ my friend, Misty. We hit up this yummy Mexican food place, Gloria's and then went to Bucks, our fav shaved ice place... she got Strawberry Cheesecake w/ cream and I got wedding cake w/ cream.... oh how I love you Bucks! ;)

Got home and then went to get kiddos hair cut, Kady got her first, get some fabric and then got dinner out and headed home. I got kiddos bathed, in bed and then started laundry.. I'll be done w/ the kiddos tomorrow and then I'll wash mine tomorrow night so that I can be ready for Sat... I'm getting my hair done... that'll be exciting. I've decided long layers hair cut, and putting red / blonde highlights in my hair. That'll be fun...

So... until next time, we'll see how well I start off my new lifestyle.... :D

Hugs ....

Have you seen my motivation?

Where to begin...


Seems lately I have NO motivation what-so-ever to lose weight, nor the energy to actually accomplish this task. Seems when I was going to school, working full time job, tending to 2 kids and all that jazz, I had more energy, more motivation and more TIME to actually accomplish everything... now I'm just working, done with school, succeeded in passing my stuff for school and became the nurse I've wanted to be and now I'm tired all the time, no time to workout, no room to workout in this house w/ everyone home and feel bad if I get a gym membership seeing as how I'm needed at home... or I feel as though I am and need to make sure I'm here since hubby 's been w/ kiddos all day... I'm in a rut.

I started using this product by Kirstie Alley, Organic Liasion (sp) and it's not 1/2 bad, and yet I'm not using it to the full advantage as I should be ... it's supposed to help curb cravings for sugar, help assisit to lower your appetite and yet it's all organic ingredients.... I wish I just felt like I could do it all again, be home, workout, take care of the house, cook, clean, laundry, dishes, and just be SUPERMOM! I don't feel that way anymore, I feel useless, lazy, washed up.... Grrr... then I get angry at myself for letting myself spiral out of control... I need to get a meeting for myself for overeaters anon... maybe that would help to locate my MOJO!!!

Have you seen my mojo!? ;)

Anyway... thanks for letting me vent... Misty & I start a biggest loser competition w/ the DFWareamoms.com board, so we'll see how that goes. I'll post (and hopefully so will Misty) my progress through this whole ordeal... look forward to hearing what you think I should do and how I could possibly get out of this rut...

Hugs ~ Lizzy

Didn't weigh in this week...

Shame really.... Like Lizzy modivation has went OUT the window.... While I will still be eating low carb, figured the best way to go is low carb/low cal as well... Watch the cals and carbs and hopefully watch the lbs fall!  I really need to get started with some kind of work out. 

Also like Lizzy good food comes across... It's hard for me when I go some where to see a salad as my only good option, I don't want a salad, I can make a salad at home!  I want GOOD food! Ugh sometimes, I want to punch the ones that make such good food lol then again hug them at the same time for making such good food lol.... Makes a butt load of sense huh?
I look at each day as a new day so that's what I will stick to..... Last I weighed which was this past weekend I was 280 so we shall see next week.  I did start the biggest loser challenge on my moms group which will offically start on the 30th.  I am hoping this will modivate me a little more as well!

Lizzy time... .

So blogging, I thought it would much easier than I have apparently made it out to be to get anything typed, done, accomplished, etc. :)  It seems when I get home, I feel like I'll have all the time in the world to get something done only to be tied down, tired, exhausted and just ready to go to bed....

Anyway, as far as weight loss, I"ll have to tell you in the AM. I feel one day I can do it, I can hold my ground and then BAM... good food comes into play and makes it hard to keep up the "good work." I wanted to do low carb... but I'm tossed at the moment between low carb, low cal. I know before I got pg w/ Izzy I did the low cal, working out w/ my WWL (Walking w/ Leslie) DVD's and lost 60 lbs... why can't I get re-motivated? Hmm... good question, working on that...

Ok, so today wasn't great food wise, but it's what it was, I did the best to my ability and tomorrow is a new day, I won't even attempt to post what I ate... LOL  Maybe tomorrow! :)

Ok, so tomorrow I will try to get on, post what I ate, how my day went, etc. I hope to see you here tomorrow, reading, enjoying my many posts to come and watching Misty & I kick butt, lose weight, feel great and just really do something that will make US happy! :)

God bless you all... :D

*hugs*

Sorry I didn't post

Well, I have decided that posting what I eat everyday is harder then you think given I am not always at the computer everyday.... So I will just post as I can w/ my progress... This week I will say that I actually had a gain :( I was up 1lb from last week, I fear w/PMS here that when I go to the doc tomorrow for my follow up it will show I didn't lose at all or not as much as I have since I do weigh myself nude lol....  I discovered some of my pants add 2 freakin lbs!  Ugh... But I am not horribly upset about the gain it was expected, I had way too many cheats last week!  I can only blame myself I have got to figure out how to get this to work into my life style.  Which is the key IMO to losing weight finding something that fits into your lifestyle.... However, because I am ordered by my doctor to go lower carb I guess I will have to FORCE this lifestyle?  Either way.... I will keep you updated.  I did join a biggest loser compitition on my mom's group so yay me.

I got some sleep

So I changed my work schedule hours to help Derrick out w/ him getting to work on time so I got some much needed rest this morning!  Which was great!  I did pretty good I think yesterday we shall see, today is going to be a "bad" day for I am celebrating w/my bud Lizzy for passing her nursing tests and is now an official LVN :) Whoo - hoo Lizzy!  On to the food!

Breakfast: Akins shake

Snack: Strawberries

Two weeks into it!

Well it's been two weeks since I started my new "life style" and as I mentioned before I have had some success.... Not as much as I thought I remembered before going low carb but every lb lost is a lb closer to goal so all is good.... (until I realize it will take me a year if I average 2lbs lost a week but lets not get too a head of ourselves here!).

So today....

So I recently start trying the low carb akins protien shakes, I am not a big breakfast person, and when I am hungry I normally don't have much time in the mornings and I am horrible at times with prepping my food for the next day so I thought these would be great for me!  I have learned that I really like the Strawberry ones and the Vanilla.... A little pricey yes... BUT I figure now that I don't do fast food much it's all about equal!  AND they have anywhere between 1 to 3 carbs which is cool and filling! 

So today:

Breakfast: I had protien shake w/a low carb breakfast bar and 9oz of water!

Snack: Strawberries

Lunch: Chicken Salad w/Mayo and Cheese (didn't eat all of it)

Snack: Cereal Bar (akins)

Dinner: Eggs, sausage, chicken and cheese scramble

Welcome!

Well I thought I would start our very own first blog post!  I figure I need to get the ball rolling before I just forget about blogging all together!  First our names are Misty and Lizzy!  We are just two best friends who decided we wanted to lose weight together so we started a blog!  I guess I will start with myself (Misty first) and let Lizzy tell you all about herself too when she gets a chance!

First of course I already stated my name, I am engaged to a wonderful man named Derrick who is also on this journey with me, and I have 3 children beautiful children from my previous marriage, Amy (9), Katie (7) and Christopher (6).

I have always had weight "issues" meaning going to school I was bigger then my size 5 friends so I thought I was extremely overweight.  What I wouldn't give now to actually be my "huge" self again at 130lbs! Ugh.... Live and learn though!  I reached over 200lbs in my first pregnancy.  Once I went over 200lbs it has been a struggle ever since to stay under 200lbs! 

I discovered in my pregnancy with my son I have a hypo thyriod.  Due to life and jobs I had to go almost a year w/out meds and here I am today the biggest I have ever been in my life, including being 9 months pregnant with any of my children!

Two months ago I found out from my doctor that I was having liver issues, my T3 numbers were off, B-12 was off and Vitamin D.  My doc suggested to get the thyriod levels good and to go low carb.  I'll admit the second leaving that office, I was like yeah right, not happening!  By my next visit I had gained another 6lbs!  That was it, I was done!  Pasta, what pasta?  Okay so I still like pasta!  BUT I had to change!

So now as of two weeks ago I started going low carb.  My doctor told me to try to stay with in 81 grams of carbs a day which is do-able.  The first week was HARD for me, especially since Derrick and I eat out alot and we were in the process of moving into a new rental house!  But after two weeks, once we moved in and I could weigh myself I found I have lost 7lbs already!  I had NO clue!  I honestly almost felt like giving up because I felt like I haven't lost anything!  BUT I did!  First time in almost year I have actually lost more then just a couple lbs total (in like a month!).  So I am excited! So I figure each day I would log what I eat and maybe even post pics of my meals!  We will be keeping up with posting pics of our progress so stick around and watch us grow... no not grow shrink! :) lol